Act of Valor - There Are No Words, Only Acts

There are a few constants in this world. Death will come, taxes will be due and soldiers, especially Special Forces are underpaid and under appreciated no matter how you measure it. I couldn't wait for this movie to hit theaters. I'm fascinated by the world of the Special Forces solider, regardless of branch, and their unbelievable sense of duty, code and honor. Act of Valor is a seriously jacked up re-enactment using actual active duty Navy SEALs as actors. The plot is simple. A team of SEALs is deployed to rescue a CIA operative, they uncover a terrorist plot against the United States and have to chase various terroist operatives and financiers from one hemisphere to the next. The combat sequences are beyond intense and well edited moving from first person to third person and keeping you close enough in where you actually duck from time to time. The emotions of the movie are what keep you hooked. This is a great portrayal of what has to be the toughest job in the world where you kiss your family goodbye to thrust yourself and your team right into the hornets nest of a world that's waiting to take your head off. This is not a well acted movie, but if you should know that going in, so expectations are set. Coming out of the theater you want to hug, thank and buy a drink for the first solider you see and it makes you proud and humble to know there are people out there that everyday, put their lives at risk so that we can go about our very important and self serving lives. Thank you for the perspective.

I don't recommend this for younger kids under 16-17, if that. This film should give you an appreciation for what service men and women lay on the line for our country with out us knowing a thing. It should inspire you to respect and honor those that have and do serve. For the 'Modern Warfare' generation, I'm afraid this is going to be a awesome live version of MWIII and the real meaning will be lost in a sea of kick assedness. What you have to realize is that in real life, there is no 'Respawn' and families lose fathers, sons, mothers, daughters so we can continue along our merry way.

Class this as a God bless America and those who keep her action/drama.

Rated R - for intense combat sequences and realistic endings

This Means War - Vanity Fair vs. GQ

This is what we needed. Beautiful people fighting over one another where cost is no inhibitor and neither is reality. The new Captain Kirk and Frodo's roided out cousin are CIA agents that fall for the same girl, realize it and spend 3/4 of the film submarining one anothers date nights with all sorts of government resources at their disposal. Reese Witherspoon, who I never tire of watching for some reason, is the girl that is so sideways and indecisive due to her good fortune of dating two buff guys that she can't turn one loose and standard romantic comedy hilarity ensues. The best part of this movie was her sister, played by Chelsea Handler who is WAY over the top direct on relationship advice and made me laugh out loud a couple times. There's also a fantastic paintball scene that anyone that's ever played paintball thinks they can pull off, but end up getting shot in the first 10 seconds by guys like this.  Overall it's a good date flick. Lots of action, decent writing for a romantic comedy and acted like you'd expect an episode of 24 meets Melrose Place. Everyone is strangely rich in this movie too and I can't figure out why. Do CIA agents really take home that much green? I mean, the new Captain Kirk was driving a new Audi R8 Spider. Looks like somebody's been skimming off the arms dealers evidence again. If you are on a first date, this has enough sexual innuendo and make out scenes to make you really uncomfortable which is always a plus and for couples, it's a light enough movie to hang out with your spouse, laugh and realize that we never looked that good, but then we also don't work for the CIA or Consumer Reports.

Class this a classic date flick. Romance for the girls and spys for the guys.

Rated R - didn't know it until I did this review, could have been PG13 

Journey 2 The Mysterious Island in 3D - I smell what you're cookin...

Jules Vernes is rolling over in 3D. This somewhat 'loose' interpretation of his classic novel is a fast paced buffet of computer animation and bad acting that surprisingly goes by quick and leaves you strangely entertained. The main character is a high school kid named Sean, who's mother evidently upgraded husbands on the second go around, goes on a trip with is stepfather, The Rock, to find his grandfather, Nigel Powers (not really, but I loved him in that movie). Evidently grandpa has sent a secret signal that gives them the coordinants to a place just off Figi. So they decide to just jump on a plane and head out (like we all do) to find gramps. This after a touching realization that the kid knows Vernes novels inside and out and The Rock knows morse code! Say whaat? I know, I know, there's no reason to build a back story here, because the special effects crew by this point is probably on their 5th Monster and 3rd hot pocket waiting to get their animation on. They do however, make it to Figi in about 30 seconds and meet up with the Gabriella from high school musical, who evidently was re-united with her deadbeat father in Figi after flunking out her freshman year when Troy ran off with a Tri Delt after figuring out that everyday is not indeed a song waiting to be sung and that he actually sucks at basketball because other colleges don't have a team comprised of Glee understudies like I guess they did in high school. Anyway, Gabs and her dad (Jacopo from Count of Monte Cristo) fly The Rock and Sean to the island and they have many marvelous adventures that were no doubt filmed on a set made entirely of green, because the boys in the animation department just took over this film. There are some very cool scenes that would be great HD wall papers for your PC, Mac, Phone, tablet or.......wall at home. The 3D adds depth like it should and there are only a couple of times they float something out there for you to take a swipe at in the air. The kids did like the film and I was entertained because giant lizards, volcanos, impossible situations along with Captain Nemo's submarine are right up my alley on a Saturday afternoon. Check it out at a matinee price, because it needs to be seen in 3D. At home on the flat screen, it's just another adventure movie with The Rock throwing up The People's Eye Brow and popping his pecs whenever possible.

Class this as a fun, early afternoon show with the kids.
Rated PG - I'm guessing for the peril

Star Wars Episode I in 3D - Again you will see it

So I venture into the theater to check out this new movie called Star Wars. Not sure what to expect, I settle in and see what all the hub-ub was about. The premise is that two guys they call 'Jedis' are sent to force a resolution of a trade dispute between some interstellar Asians and the young queen of a plant along with George Lucas' version of Goofy (JarJar Binks). Come to find out there's a more sinister plot afoot. There's a guy in a cloak who has a bad case of emphysema is basically puppeting the interstellar Asians and has a seriously tattooed bad ass as a sidekick. Meanwhile the Jedis take their marching orders from Kermit the Frog's evolutionary predecessor named Yoda and Samuel L. Jackson. There's another story line about a kid named Anakin who was essentially born through some immaculate conception that makes him a lightning fast pod racer, pilot and great mechanic. Now they want to train him to become a Jedi, but Yoda and Samuel L Jackson aren't big fans.  Not sure this story line will go anywhere, but I can't help but think that there's a couple more movies to come, so we'll see.

This movie wasn't made for 3D and it shows.  There are some cool effects that look deeper and richer, which I think is the real plus of 3D movies. Problem is, you can see where it's not quite right in many places. Also, I'm not really into the floating object in the middle of the screen. Partly because I think there's more to a movie than a gimmick that floats in front of you and partly because I can't not put my hand up and try to touch it when it's floating right there in front of me.

If you love Star Wars, you'll love it again. If you hate Star Wars, this will further fuel your rage. 

Big Miracle - 'Meh'

A young, ambitious reporter in Alaska stumbles upon a family of 3 whales that are stuck under an ice sheet with one hole and 5 miles to the closest open ocean.  He performs a simple and humble report on the tragedy and the world is captivated by the human and animal struggle to save hope for all mankind. This tiny village must rally together under the evil, watchful eye of the mainstream media to get the whales to open water before the hole freezes up and civilization loses the will to go on! At least that was probably the pitch Greenpeace gave the studio when they bought the rights to this story.
Essentially, here's how I'd sum it up: Jim from 'The Office' spots three whales in the ice and calls one of 'Charlie's Angels' and Sam Malone from 'Cheers' along with anyone that owned a video camera in 1988 to come to northern Alaska and cut holes in the ice and help the whales to safety.
It's a feel good movie that reeks of Greenpeace holier than thou sermons and the evils of the Regan administration for being literally hog tied into helping out.  Jim from 'The Office' was right in character (there is but one dimension for this guy), Drew Barrymore was in rare Carl mouth form (it's in the hole!) and Sam Malone from 'Cheers' was the standard rich oil guy that is trying to get some good press and then starts to care about the whales just as all hope is about to be extinguished. The movie is based on a true story that took place in 1988 which makes it somewhat understandable as a dramatic representation or documentary.  But I'm not sure that's what they were going for here.  I vaguely remember something about there actually being news in the world around that time, but whales in the ice never hit my radar or I might have appreciated this more. Riiiiiiiiight.


I will say my family loved it. Young kids who love whales (you know who those are) and tender hearted wives that cry at commercials will love it as well. So it IS a good family movie. 
As long as your family loves whales, 'The Office', 'Charlie's Angles' and 'Cheers'.....on the rocks.


Class this as an OK family movie that you rent OnDemand.
PG for the cussing I and other Dads were doing after the movie.

We Bought a Zoo - See It

It’s a Zoo movie with Matt Damon.  Unless the animals are attacking in awesome accents and he’s taking them out methodically one by one in that Bourne like way I’m used to, this movie was going to fail.  Going in it had all the makings of Dr. Dolittle meets Evan Almighty so I was ready to throw lighter fluid on it and torch it.  Walking in anyway, I was poised and ready for a nap.  Walking out I was an emotional mess.  This is a family/drama in every sense.  In fact its a drama about a family, not a family (la de da, farting monkeys) movie.  Literally, it’s a perfect example of how raw a family can be when faced with a situation that nobody is prepared for; then throw animals in the mix and a hot zoo keeper (Scarlett Johansson-no that’s not what made me emotional) and evidently you have something!

Quick premise....the mother dies 6 months previous to the beginning, the father Benjamin (Matt Damon - Sorry, no Bournesque action in this one guys) is trying to hold his son Dylan (Colin Ford) and daughter Rosie (Maggie Elizabeth Jones - probably the cutest damn thing on the planet) together as best he can.  Long story short, they have to make a change and move, so they decide to give this a shot.  Remarkably, the rest is very predictable, but Cameron Crowe, storyteller extraordinare, takes what could have been an eye gougingly nice and boring story and starts throwing emotional anchors in the water with the chains shackled to your ankles.  Just when you think this is a pleasant story about re-building a zoo, Crowe goes all ‘anchors away‘ and you're suddenly hurling to the bottom of the emotion ocean and you connect with the characters.  Even when you see it coming, it's tough to prepare for.  Not sure how he does it to someone like me, the Tin Man, who has no heart unless Rudy is running down the sideline or Rocky beats the pity out of Clubber Lang (best fighter name ever by the way) , but this one got me misty.  Or maybe it was just a bad allergy attack and my eyes were all watery, I’ll never say.  You win this time Mr. Crowe, but I won’t be fooled again.

Class this as an 'Emotionally Intense at Times Family Movie'

PG - Language and some intense kid to parent confrontations

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - See It

I dig Guy Ritchie films. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch are two of my favorite all out slug (fist) and, well, slug (gun)-fests ever. This movie, the second in what promises to be at least a trilogy of Holmes movies is more mainstream, but doesn't leave any action on the cutting room floor. Basic premise is just what you'd think; Holmes is fast talking and uses more one liners than my freshman Psych professor trying to pick up the girl in the first row. (We all had one of those profs; and if you are one of those profs, this movie gives you some fresh material). It's fast moving and Professor Moriarty (played really creepily by Jared Harris) is always one step ahead.....until he's not. Go in knowing you are going to get narration rewinds, witty banter at Chinese ping pong olympian speeds, which always sounds cool in an English accent, loose science lessons and sequences that are shot in very cool slooooowww mooooottiion. It's a film I'll rent OnDemand because my retention is not that great and I'll have a pad and paper to write down the one liners to sell to community college Psych professors.

Class this as a 'Fun Movie'

Mild PG13 - due to the fighting and the Evil Professor 'offing' a few folk throughout.

Wasting Time for Charity: A Manfesto/Intro

Around July of last year Wenter and I found ourselves at the American Heart Association Go Red for Women Luncheon and silent auction where Wenter was an honored speaker. While she was basking in the glow and deserved attention, I was in the familiar and comfortable spot of the guy walking around the silent auction tables 30 times thinking that the 6 months of tanning, a little micro derm abrasion package and some bedazzled man bags might actually be the answer to a whole new me.

Thankfully, I found a little gem of my own stashed between the Queen for a Day Get Away and the $40 a Cup Cake Birthday Bash. It was called Date Night. No, guys, not a gift basket of roofies, chloroform and monogrammed handkerchiefs, wrong luncheon. This was two movie passes for 2012 no strings attached. See as many movies as you want during 2012 at any Cinemark Theater and as luck would have it, they were building a new Cinemark in Frisco about 5 minutes from the house so fate was forcing my hand! Sounds good, so I write my number in the bid space and wait.

Hovering around the table for the next 45 minutes giving the 'Evil Eye' to anyone that came near MY prize. Indirectly, I probably hurt the cupcake bidding with my cold empty stares of death and I do feel bad about that. Needless to say, I won! Which meant I had to shell out probably more than I should have for this privilege, but it's for charity, so karma should prevail somewhere down the line. Waiting for the 'Karma Likes This!' thumb to show up on my Facebook page.

So a co-worker mentioned that I should see as many movies as I possibly can and write reviews on each one that nobody will ever read. Not a bad idea! At least then I'll have a record of the enormous amount of time that I wasted and give my future generations something to be embarrassed about.

I've never been one to put pen to paper and write about anything. I leave that to my creative and very articulate wife Wenter, who's actually applied her craft as a 'hired pen' and had scores of followers. This blog will be short and to the point. I don't have formal training on what should be where in a movie and what exactly directors should be thinking or doing or how the cinematography was exquisite and so on. I just know that when I like a movie I've got opinions that I don't often share. Lucky you. When I don't like a movie, I have white hot opinions that I love to share. Again, lucky you!

So if I can steer you away from spending your money on the third installment of Alvin and the Chipmunks (which sucked beyond belief) then great! Or perhaps you enjoy 90 minutes of water boarding via auto tuned Lady Gaga montages.

Either way, let's take a ride.