We Bought a Zoo - See It

It’s a Zoo movie with Matt Damon.  Unless the animals are attacking in awesome accents and he’s taking them out methodically one by one in that Bourne like way I’m used to, this movie was going to fail.  Going in it had all the makings of Dr. Dolittle meets Evan Almighty so I was ready to throw lighter fluid on it and torch it.  Walking in anyway, I was poised and ready for a nap.  Walking out I was an emotional mess.  This is a family/drama in every sense.  In fact its a drama about a family, not a family (la de da, farting monkeys) movie.  Literally, it’s a perfect example of how raw a family can be when faced with a situation that nobody is prepared for; then throw animals in the mix and a hot zoo keeper (Scarlett Johansson-no that’s not what made me emotional) and evidently you have something!

Quick premise....the mother dies 6 months previous to the beginning, the father Benjamin (Matt Damon - Sorry, no Bournesque action in this one guys) is trying to hold his son Dylan (Colin Ford) and daughter Rosie (Maggie Elizabeth Jones - probably the cutest damn thing on the planet) together as best he can.  Long story short, they have to make a change and move, so they decide to give this a shot.  Remarkably, the rest is very predictable, but Cameron Crowe, storyteller extraordinare, takes what could have been an eye gougingly nice and boring story and starts throwing emotional anchors in the water with the chains shackled to your ankles.  Just when you think this is a pleasant story about re-building a zoo, Crowe goes all ‘anchors away‘ and you're suddenly hurling to the bottom of the emotion ocean and you connect with the characters.  Even when you see it coming, it's tough to prepare for.  Not sure how he does it to someone like me, the Tin Man, who has no heart unless Rudy is running down the sideline or Rocky beats the pity out of Clubber Lang (best fighter name ever by the way) , but this one got me misty.  Or maybe it was just a bad allergy attack and my eyes were all watery, I’ll never say.  You win this time Mr. Crowe, but I won’t be fooled again.

Class this as an 'Emotionally Intense at Times Family Movie'

PG - Language and some intense kid to parent confrontations

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - See It

I dig Guy Ritchie films. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch are two of my favorite all out slug (fist) and, well, slug (gun)-fests ever. This movie, the second in what promises to be at least a trilogy of Holmes movies is more mainstream, but doesn't leave any action on the cutting room floor. Basic premise is just what you'd think; Holmes is fast talking and uses more one liners than my freshman Psych professor trying to pick up the girl in the first row. (We all had one of those profs; and if you are one of those profs, this movie gives you some fresh material). It's fast moving and Professor Moriarty (played really creepily by Jared Harris) is always one step ahead.....until he's not. Go in knowing you are going to get narration rewinds, witty banter at Chinese ping pong olympian speeds, which always sounds cool in an English accent, loose science lessons and sequences that are shot in very cool slooooowww mooooottiion. It's a film I'll rent OnDemand because my retention is not that great and I'll have a pad and paper to write down the one liners to sell to community college Psych professors.

Class this as a 'Fun Movie'

Mild PG13 - due to the fighting and the Evil Professor 'offing' a few folk throughout.

Wasting Time for Charity: A Manfesto/Intro

Around July of last year Wenter and I found ourselves at the American Heart Association Go Red for Women Luncheon and silent auction where Wenter was an honored speaker. While she was basking in the glow and deserved attention, I was in the familiar and comfortable spot of the guy walking around the silent auction tables 30 times thinking that the 6 months of tanning, a little micro derm abrasion package and some bedazzled man bags might actually be the answer to a whole new me.

Thankfully, I found a little gem of my own stashed between the Queen for a Day Get Away and the $40 a Cup Cake Birthday Bash. It was called Date Night. No, guys, not a gift basket of roofies, chloroform and monogrammed handkerchiefs, wrong luncheon. This was two movie passes for 2012 no strings attached. See as many movies as you want during 2012 at any Cinemark Theater and as luck would have it, they were building a new Cinemark in Frisco about 5 minutes from the house so fate was forcing my hand! Sounds good, so I write my number in the bid space and wait.

Hovering around the table for the next 45 minutes giving the 'Evil Eye' to anyone that came near MY prize. Indirectly, I probably hurt the cupcake bidding with my cold empty stares of death and I do feel bad about that. Needless to say, I won! Which meant I had to shell out probably more than I should have for this privilege, but it's for charity, so karma should prevail somewhere down the line. Waiting for the 'Karma Likes This!' thumb to show up on my Facebook page.

So a co-worker mentioned that I should see as many movies as I possibly can and write reviews on each one that nobody will ever read. Not a bad idea! At least then I'll have a record of the enormous amount of time that I wasted and give my future generations something to be embarrassed about.

I've never been one to put pen to paper and write about anything. I leave that to my creative and very articulate wife Wenter, who's actually applied her craft as a 'hired pen' and had scores of followers. This blog will be short and to the point. I don't have formal training on what should be where in a movie and what exactly directors should be thinking or doing or how the cinematography was exquisite and so on. I just know that when I like a movie I've got opinions that I don't often share. Lucky you. When I don't like a movie, I have white hot opinions that I love to share. Again, lucky you!

So if I can steer you away from spending your money on the third installment of Alvin and the Chipmunks (which sucked beyond belief) then great! Or perhaps you enjoy 90 minutes of water boarding via auto tuned Lady Gaga montages.

Either way, let's take a ride.